What is YOUR Pizza?: 2009-05-17

23 May 2009 early morning

OH JESUS GOD IN HEAVEN IT'S 8:30 I GOTTA TAKE THE CAR WHY AM I BOTHERING TO TYPE THIS

Well ok half an hour is easily doable but still I didn't mean to sleep this late oh man oh man oh man

First

Was scared absolutely witless this morning.

Scared stupid by the last sound I expected to hear, by a sound I hadn't heard in weeks.

Shrieking-schoolgirl-scared by the sound of my cellphone ringing.

Now, see, I keep it plugged in. Used to be I did so for when the network would inevitably return. As that started looking less certain, I still did so because that phone still serves as a rectangular pocket watch.

Regardless, it's a good thing that I did.

So my phone jolted me awake today, Imperial March, yes I'm a nerd, hadn't heard it in forever. I jumped up, looking around wide-eyed, wondering what the hell was going on. Synapses started firing in a less-random pattern, signals slowly reaching intended targets. Bumbled to hit the answer button.

"Uh...h-hello?"

"May I speak with Mr. Wall please."

"Th...this is h-he...you can hear me?"

"Yes sir I can. This is the City Employment Office; we would like to ask you to come in for a job interview tomorrow. We hope you are available at 9 AM."

"Y...sure, yes, I can, I mean, I'm available."

"Please bring multiple forms of identification with you. You are also to be made aware you will not be eligible for consideration should you arrive late."

"Er, right, gotcha. Sure, thank you!"

"We look forward to speaking with you tomorrow Mr. Wall."

"W-wait, do you know if phone ser--"

bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

So, naturally, I dialed every number stored in my phone. Nothing. I typed in random numbers. Not a thing.

Dialed 911. Was told by the operator that if I did so again without an emergency to report, given current circumstances, I would be arrested.

That's something at least.

Still...what the hell?

Ate the last of my bread today. Few packs of ramen left, few bucks remaining for uber-emergencies. Still, don't want to appear desperate tomorrow...because I AM desperate.

What the hell....

First

21 May 2009

First

A tease. A close, warm kiss on the corner of the mouth before pulling away, winking, and walking off. Matching all the lottery numbers the one week you forget to buy a ticket. Catching a whiff of the filet mignon being savored by a neighbor.

The Internet still exists. I now know this. The complete Internet still exists though many places haven't updated in a while. Okay so yeah, saying 'the complete Internet' is a bit odd. But keep in mind, very few sites have been available lately but it's not like NOTHING's been available.

Today, for a few hours, EVERYTHING was available. National news sites. International news sites. Torrent sites. Message boards.

Today, for a few hours, I hoped to drink up every last drop of information that I could. To find out what was going on across the country, or even the world for that matter.

Was anybody else lucky enough to catch this far-too-short opening of the informational vault?

Did anybody else think it was surprisingly...bereft...of anything noteworthy?

Did anybody else get the impression the crazies had taken over the Webs?

I guess it's not that surprising that the national news sites, CNN, MSNBC, etc., weren't up-to-date. If they're down for everybody, what's the use in keeping them up-to-date? But why were the international sites, CNN International, the BBC website, and so on...why did they have little more news than what we citizens received from the President a few days after the attack?

There were no shortage of editorials on the international sites, though. Many showing surprise and concern at how quiet our country had become ever since the attacks. Some celebratory. Some nervous. None shedding more light on the facts. Half of the articles showed concern for our country, the other reveled in our humbling.

All, however, seemed to dabble in various conspiracy theories however. And there was a common "it's quiet...a little TOO quiet" theme to it all.

The message boards were worse. Though I had mostly grown out of being any part of any online clique, I still frequented the boards of one particular online site with a sizable community. (As an aside, wonder how many SAGoons still exist after all this....) Anyway, seems quite a few of the regulars there all had the same idea: post what you can, while you can. In this way, I learned far more about the state of the nation than I did from any news site.

A massive thread exploded around the Post Your Situation theme. It was...painful reading. People days away from being out of food, out of housing, out of medicine. Attempts by Those who Have to share with Those Who Have Not. People trying to trade or even share bread, money, insulin. People with lost loved ones. People finding lost loved ones.

Almost as painful as the tearjerkers were the constant conspiracy-theory derails. As organized as the real world had become thanks to the quick police response, things were utter chaos in an unmoderated message board thread. But eventually people, driven by the need for information, worked out an agreement to move the 'conspiracies' to a separate topic.

Even the crazed masses can organize themselves when the common goal is large enough.

On the Internet everybody is an expert. This is no deep insight. But even hidden among the wannabes, the script kiddies, are a few people who know what they're talking about. And even in a sea of random noise, a constant pattern can emerge that hides some hint of truth.

I'm not saying that any of it IS true. I'm just saying I'm a little unnerved now.

Some of the common themes include looting, robbing, especially in apartment buildings and residential neighborhoods. Odd, considering how solid the police coverage has been. But then, this shouldn't be that surprising...I mean, in a time of crisis looting is a common occurance, right? So I guess that's not so odd. What was, though, was how many people were saying that the Internet semi-outages were extremely suspicious. Comparisons to a hastily-designed, previously untested firewall. Notes on how it didn't seem to correspond to particular servers, but to actual content.

I don't know. I'm no IT professional. I'll have to talk to Andy about this. But stickied at the top of the conspiracy thread was a signup for an e-mail group, an attempt for everybody to stay in touch. I typed in my address, clicked send, and then got an Unreachable Page error.

And then the Net went totally dead for a few hours.

Now, obviously, it's back up again, only...same crippled state as before.

An effing tease. And now I'm a little concerned.

Where's the information?

First

20 May 2009

First

Did the two-birds-one-stone thing, and tossed in a little more for good measure.

Woke up noonish and actually bothered with breakfast for once: raw toast. What is raw toast, you ask? Raw toast is one of the easiest-to-prepare delicacies of the modern era, a specialty of mine. One might argue it is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Mostly because that's all it is. Slice of bread, uncooked. Ha ha I am so funny.

ANYWAY.

Walked down to City Hall, with its pseudo-important stereotypical Capitol dome and about five different flags flying outside the too-large glass doors. All at half-mast, I noticed. Also noticed my handprint sweat-implanted on my applicatoins and resumes. Way too hot day, had to debate quite a bit whether or not to drive down there. I mean, any chance to save gas is one I feel I need to take, but showing up all sweatypits and smelly to a job interview? Not the best idea either. Still, I figured the interviewers would be understanding.

And though I did arrive in as soggy a condition as I was afraid I would, I most certainly wasn't the only one. I also wasn't the only one in desperate need of a job. There was a good hour's wait just to get into the building. I saw quite a few people carrying the same pamphlet I found sitting outside my door. Papers in their hands, throbbing veins in their forehead or neck, hint of panic in their eyes.

Bit of a reminder how...odd the whole situation was. Amazing how quick we adapt. Still having almost week's supply of food might have made me one of the luckier people in the bunch.

Inside the building, though? It was like nothing had ever changed. Other than a slightly higher-than-usual hint of tension, City Hall was humming, buzzing, ringing, beeping, and chatting along like always. Eventually I was funnelled towards a room with a taped-paper "Employment" sign on the door. Was instructed to drop off a copy of my resume and application within any positions that appealed to me, up to five.

Tables were set up lining the 3 doorless walls, a U enwrapping the applicants. On each table were multiple fileholders filled haphazardly with printed paper, resumes and histories of those looking for some security employment-wise. Some of the paniceyes were dropping resumes in each and every box despite instructions. I was tempted, but coming across too desperate is never a good tactic. Left my info for a couple of data-entry positions, an editor job, and a front-office position.

There was one I made sure to hunt down though. A Public Service Announcement editor/developer position. Sounded interesting: responsibilities included creating and editing mass-produced announcements, advisories, and so on, basically serving as a kind of voice for the city hall to the public. Made sure to leave the least-sweatstained papers with that one.

Not surprisingly, there was another paper-sign leading from the makeshift employment office to an equally-packed registration office. Had a one-on-one with a data-puncher, giving name, address, social, and so on.

So yeah, a busy day, right? Surprisingly full, active, and productive, right? No sir, not enough! You remember how, before all this started, my illustrious career as a professional disc golfer was just getting started?

Okay so there's about 0% chance that any organized professional disc golf group still exists. But a man needs a hobby, right? Got in a round this afternoon.

Let's...uhm, let's just say our country isn't the only thing that's come under attack recently. Maybe I should practice a little more.

Felt good to play again though.

First

19 May 2009 late night

First

BUT!

Today was a bit of an aberration. Updated the journal a bit earlier than usual in an effort to spark some productivity. And it worked! Go figure.

Took a closer look at the jobs listed in the pamphlet. The descriptions were somewhat vague, but I figure that is largely due to stereotypical governmental thickspeak. Still, a few stood out, ones dealing with public communication, document design, and data input. Hell, at this point I'd be estatic to be a secretary. Really, I've got maybe enough savings to eat for another week, then I'll be in trouble. Sooner if food prices rise for whatever reason, though I tell myself that's unlikely if they haven't done so more than they have so far.

The pamphlet recommends applying in person, and the offices are located at the same place as where I'll have to report by the end of the month, so I'll probably do the two-birds-one-stone thing tomorrow.

Speaking of, there is now a constantly-running text banner along the bottom of all operating TV channels reminding people of the registration deadline. No question they're pretty serious about all this.

First

19 May 2009

First

My current daily schedule, adjusted for the following recent developments: unemployment, recent national chaos.

Wake up naturally around one-ish. PM. Amazing how much better your day starts out when it's not begun with a loud buzzer slamming you into consciousness. Check TV, web sites, cell phone to see what, if anything, is updating (still next to nothing). Listen to local news to see if they have any more idea what's happened nationally.

Shower, with shaving thrown in every other day. Well, to be honest, been 4 days since I last shaved...no real reason to look presentable, you know? Usually I skip breakfast; one, I'm rarely hungry after waking up, and two, I worry that saving food might prove to be smart over the next few days/weeks/months/who knows....

Half-hearted, easily-distracted attempts to piece together a current resume last for about an hour as I listen to whatever's on TV. Local news, for lack of anything new to report, has returned to 'normal' programming. Though I've noticed that it's all syndicated shows and re-runs. Nothing new has come on from current-running shows.

Eventually give up pretending I'll be looking for a job on that day; kill a couple of hours playing games or catching up on my reading, TV still on in the background just in case.

Quick lunch, ramen or cereal or whatever can be thrown together with minimal effort. Only really pay attention to one meal a day, and that's usually dinner.

If I'm feeling frisky, a nap happens now. Two hours if something new's come up recently in the news, sliding towards four hours the more days it's been since the last major update. I'm more of a night owl anyway, to be honest.

After the nap, work out a little bit. Nothing complicated. Some sit-ups, push-ups, just enough to get a quick sweat and not feel like a complete slacker. Maybe a jog outside if the weather's nice.

Quick rinse-off in the shower, then type here. After that is dinnertime, then open time. Maybe I feel guilty and try to find a job online. Maybe I feel lazy and just listen to the TV. Maybe I fall somewhere in between and see what's still available for perusing online. I feel bad going to sleep before accomplishing SOMETHING during the day, but motivation is hard to come by some nights. Still times where things are a bit hard to take in, a bit unnerving in their off-ness.

Or maybe those are just excuses now. Hard to tell.

Either way, eventually I give up on the day, and on productivity, and on consciousness, and I'm out for the next 10-12 hours.

First

18 May 2009

First

Backdated from the 19th.

Power was out for most of the day today. Punctuation mark-less note posted on the door by the building supervisor warned that such was possible while crews installed a new security system. Apparently all in response to the earlier robbery.

Police talked with me the day before for a few, though they seemed to be going through the motions more than anything. Seemed they just wanted to verify I had, in fact, seen/heard nothing.

Around midday, was awakened by quick, efficient knocks at my door. Rapid, short, piercing. Almost reminded me what it was like to wake up to an alarm clock. Threw on some wrinkled clothes and let the crew in. Said they were just stringing some wires through my roof, sorry for the inconvenience. Kept pretty much to themselves.

After they left, I stepped outside and out of instinct waved to the new, prominent black box sitting above my doorway.

Reassuring, really.

First

17 May 2009

First

An apartment in our complex got broken into last night.

Nobody was hurt; seems the people living there, John and Linda, were away at the time.

I sorta know them, we talk whenever we run into each other by the mailbox. Haven't seen them in a week or so though. Guess that's for the best.

Looks like the police are making rounds, seeing who noticed what.

Maybe I should look into getting a landline installed.

First

23 May 2009 early morning

22 May 2009

21 May 2009

20 May 2009

19 May 2009 late night

19 May 2009

18 May 2009

17 May 2009

Blog Archive

About Me - 4th Wall