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Orange-brown legal-sized envelope lying opened on the desk. Papers scattered, final drafts under scrutiny. Flourescent overheads buzz. Three pairs of lungs frozen. One pair operates slowly, their owner lost in study.
"Man, that's awesome stuff and you know it. Let's go home." Chris shatters the lung-ice and the silence.
Cam slowly places the papers down. Scratches his beard; pushes his glasses up. Same slow breathing rhythm. Stares straight forward, away from us. Slowly, both hands rise, thumbs-up. He turns and grins.
"I think we got something good goin' here guys. Great stuff, the Cheif'll be happy with this. I'll pass it on."
Chris whoops with approval. Elle flashes that Smile To End All Smiles and her body sags with a sigh of relief. Me? Fistpump. I'm big on fistpumps.
And with that, our first project is complete. No celebrations yet; we still don't know how far our ads will be shown. Again, we're guaranteed city-wide exposure. County-wide and we'll order a celebratory lunch pizza. State-wide, though...state-wide will net us each a $1,000 bonus. Nation-wide's not even worth mentioning. I'm not sure it goes that high, and even if it does, surely they've got professionals taking care of projects of that size.
We took three different angles with the guns-for-food program. Our instructions, interestingly enough, were not just to inform, but to sell the program a bit. The Higher-Ups wanted to make sure people were taking the government up on its offer. Restores faith and builds trust, they emphasized. Very important in the post-attack world.
Angle 1 was the Vanilla Angle. No plays on the public's emotions, just an appeal to reason. Listed the facts of the program, where to take weapons and ammunition, and why this was what you wanted to do. Namely, you can't consume gunpowder, and squirrel meat is too gamey for most meat dishes.
Angle 2 was the Stats Angle. Did you know how much the average handgun was worth? How many loaves of bread, cans of soup, diapers, bottles of aspirin that translated into? Were you aware that, since 5/6, nearly 67% of break-ins resulted in stolen guns? That in half of reported break-ins involving the use of firearms, it was the intruder using the soon-to-be-victims' weapon? Have you noticed that Police and Special Forces have increased their numbers by 300% (500% over the next two weeks),
and are now patrolling residential areas on a regular basis? Now you know. (The numbers were provided; we weren't told how the data was gathered but we were assured they were accurate.)
Angle 3 was my baby. I came up with it after speaking with Linda, and with a little research the numbers provided a strong base to an emotional argument. Numbers-wise, even before the attack there was a strong positive correlation between firearm ownership and suicide. The correlation skyrocketed after 5/6, as did instances of domestic violence involving firearms.
"Times are tough. Why tempt fate? Turn your guns into food. Turn you guns into provisions. Turn your guns into Hope."
Oh yeah. Powerful stuff.
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