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Uhm, wow.
Yesterday, the disc hit the tree. Today, the excrement hit the fan. And spread EVERYWHERE. Now, see, that's usually just an expression. A figure of speech, A non-literal descriptor.
If only.
What is it about public restrooms that makes it okay for your inner crazy to come out? And what is the fascination with feces as an artistic medium?
At work, I'm at the end of my break, and looking to relieve myself. I opened the door, and could immediately smell that something was out of place. Out of place, as in, not in the toilet where it belonged.
The door to the far stall stood slightly ajar. A strip of discarded toilet paper peaked out from the threshhold, terminating beyond my line of sight, as if trying to drag itself away from the impact crater, from ground zero.
Curiosity overcame common sense, and I pushed the door open and peeked in.
I have few regrets in life. There was that one girl, and there was that one bet...well, now I have three regrets in life.
It got worse, though. I stepped back out and mentioned to the manager that we should probably give the janitorial crew a heads-up.
"Why's that?"
"It's...well, you should probably see for yourself."
Few minutes later, my boss finds the ability to speak again.:
"Yeah, uhm, I'm gonna need you to grab a mop and some paper towels. You'll probably want gloves too."
I was a little bit stunned at this. "Look, I know it's pretty bad, but we're about to close, can't we leave this for the guys who are paid and trained to deal with this?"
"We don't have a janitorial crew any more."
"What? Why not?"
"Can't afford 'em. Just do this for me, and I'll give you the day off tomorrow, alright?"
"Offer's tempting, but I need the hours. Maybe someone el..."
"No, look, you're not coming in tomorrow either way. We don't have the hours to give, I gotta cut back."
"You realize I'm already only getting 25 horus a week as it--"
"Yes I KNOW how many hours you're getting, I write your schedule re--"
"Look, [bossnameX], I like eating, and I like being able to eat, but that's a habit I'll have to give up if I get any fewer hours."
"Stop. You're one of the few people I can rely on here, which is why you're getting hours at all. Now clean up that mess or you won't be getting any."
How do I argue against that? I DO have SOME savings, but it's only at emergency-use levels. I need this paycheck. I have a four-year college degree, years of reliable work experience, and I'm cleaning up a shitty stall, but I still need this paycheck. I take things as they come, and I hold up my responsibility, but never have I come so close to just walking away as I did today. I'm not tens of thousands of dollars in debt for this.
Listen. If you don't want details of the crime scene, skip to the next paragraph. Still with me? Imagine someone opened a can of baby-food-type strained peas. Make that 10 cans. Splattered it all over the floor. Took tapdancing lessons in the resulting pile. Wrote satanic verse in a long-dead tongue on the walls praising our dark lord who inhibits the lowest of the seven abysses within the darkest of all unholy hells. The smell reeked of the fetid breath of Be'elthezeth, Dark Emperor of Hatred and Misgivings.
It wasn't fun.
On the other hand, least I know why [X]'s been so on-edge lately. Just how bad are we doing financially as a company, anyway?
*sigh*
Took my frustrations out on the course. Drove farther than ever. Putts were short and sweet. Spat on The Tree as I walked past. Scored a 7-under, my best ever on the course. Three more days until I make a little progress in some aspect of my life.
Those are just my personal fireworks. Of more import are the rumors that suddenly started flying about Representative Johnson. Some major news network is hinting that they've come across documentation linking Johnson to a prominent athiest organization a few decades ago. The talking heads can't get enough of it, but the two candidates don't seem to be making a big deal of it...yet, anyway. Johnson's spokespeople are giving the expected denials, while Senator Lee's people are, somewhat surprisingly, refusing to comment on it. With only 4 days to go to the election, could this stick?
Should this matter?
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