Official Time-Out, play to resume shortly

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Okay, I hate to do this, but seeing as how I haven't updated in a while, I guess it's already been done?

No no no, I haven't given up on this. Not by a long shot. But it needs work. The story. The voice. The characters. The everything. I'm not happy with the way it's going currently and I need to take some time to fix it.

Life has a large part to do with this. Major changes going on right now. Moving overseas again. Yeah. BUT as I get things in line, I'll be returning to the world I'm working on here. PLUS I'll be introducing a new project.

This is exciting. You should be excited.

Anyway, for what it's worth, for whom it holds any worth, I'm just saying this project is NOT abandoned.

Just on a soon-to-be-ended hiatus.

I'll be advertising again once I'm back alive. Check back soon, yah?

--me


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6 July 2009

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'We thank you for your patience,' Leethen says.

'Still working out the kinks,' he says.

'Man the weather's hot today,' he says.

Wait that's not what he said that's what Cam said.

'Can't be too careful with this,' the-actual-he says.

I gotta talk about the Independence Day speech!, I say.

'Oh we definitely can't be too careful with this then,' he says.

'Sometime this week, our network should be more stable by then, sound good?' he asks.

'Works for me,' I reply.

'And please, next time look into e-mail encryption,' he finalizes.

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1 July 2009

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Been lost in my own little world lately. Work's still going, but we're all kinda focused on smaller, local projects. Remember Trash Wednesday. Casual Friday is not Clothesless Friday. Cam's favorite, The Homeless are not Helpless.

Little things.

Elle's been on a bit of a green kick, both in terms of hair and projects. Chris has been hiding off in the audio recording room, coming out only to try unsuccessfully to get us out of our shells and into The After.

I think we're all a little bit pissed we weren't chosen to do anything for the upcoming July 4 celebrations. "We're going in a different direction," they said. "Need a change in tone for these," they said. Hmpf.

But I'm back up...only, don't know how many people can read this now. This SubNet business...man, Andy could explain it a few hundred times better than I could. They have the feel of an ISP, but...more elite. Highly technophilic, more elitist, more secret-clubbish.

I got back in touch with Mr. (call-me-Matt) Leethen, who sent me instructions and tossed around words and phrases like 'extended intranet,' 'proxies proxies proxies,' 'hypertext stylesheets,' etc.

Don't understand how with all this security I still keep getting spam from the TinFoil Hat Brigade like I shared earlier. Seems to get around all the blocks too. Matt says they're still working out some of the kinks. And kooks.

He also warned that with these kinks (and kooks) there's still a lot of instability in the setup. "If there's a problem, down we go. We'll get it back up a.s.a.p., but one can never be too careful, am I right?" as he said.

Dunno if you've noticed but this is all a little confusing. Is to me anyway. Wanted to use this as a backup on the hope that the main site would get back up. Hasn't yet. I can't access it, Andy can't, haven't heard from anyone else who can. Guess this becomes the main site then. Just hope that nobody who was reading the last is excluded now. I'll have to talk to Matt about that.

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30 June 2009

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Test, test.

Hello world.

Is this thing on? -tap tap-

What was I supposed to type oh right.

"If you are reading this then you either have successfully signed up for SubNet, or you have been granted viewing privileges of protected SubNet material."

wow so formal

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28 June 2009

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What follows is the important parts of today's talk with Andy. There...there was a lot that falls into the important category, I am thinking, possibly.

"So, still writing?" he asked, plugging in our competitive video game of choice.

"No thanks. Yeah, I am, on the off-chance it's just a temporary thing."

"Yeah, about that. Any forced software updates on your computer lately? And you do realize there are characters other than Ken in this game."

"Pfft, like I pay any attention to that. To either of those." (Actually I do, but he knows I know.)

"Yeah, you wouldn't. But I don't think it's client-side anyway."

"Uhm, what."

"The cause."

"Not what I'm not following here."

"Client-side? Your side. User's side."

"Right, gotcha." Nodded my understanding. Cursed a round loss. "That would stand to reason though, right? After the attacks, fewer fat pipes, there's gotta be some negative network effect, right?"

"That's a painful simplification, but as far as I KNOW, that's close enough. The problem is I don't know if I know too much or not enough about the situation though."

"Last part's never been a problem for you, cocky jerk. Dammit!"

With the match win, he turned from the screen. "Yeah, well. Let's assume, okay? Let's assume that your explanation makes enough sense to keep me on the sane side of Occam's Razor."

Raised an eyebrow. "And the more complex, less sane side of the coin?"

"That someone's censoring sites centrally."

"But who?"

"ExACTly."

"Um."

"Either Them or Us." His voice capitalized the words. "If it's Them, then they're still impacting our daily lives in ways the President hasn't acknowledged openly. And if it's Us...." He turned back to the game and started the next match. New characters.

"If it's Us, maybe should just kinda stay between us....?"

"Pfffffffft." Total nonchalance. "I'm not paranoid enough to believe that yet, like I said. Plus, I'm just some guy, you know? There are tons of people running around yelling on about far crazier conspiracies." A shrug. Honestly, I doubt he'd care if they DID come for him. He'd just take it all in stride and enjoy the ride.

"But it's possible," he continued, launching into an extended combo. "The slow loading? The not-so-random, almost systematic disappearance of blogs all on similar subjects? It could very easily be someone, somewhere, running large amounts of net traffic through a filter of sorts."

He paused, taking his second victory a lot better than I was. "Well, not very easily, honestly. Again, I don't think it's the most likely cause. Just something to toss out there to make life interesting."

"Been interesting enough over the past few months, thanks man. Really."

"Don't mention it. Also, are you going to bother trying today? I mean, seriously...."

"Look, I'm digesting, alright? And--oh, yeah, right, wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah?"

"Ever heard of a group called SubNet?"

His turn to raise an eyebrow. "You've heard about SubNet?"

"Not just about them. FROM them."

"Hmmm. Interesting." He grinned and returned to kicking my digital ass.

"So you know about them?"

"Just bits and pieces. Not much, really. Just that they should be able to help you if your site's still down."

"That's nice. Why the reaction?"

A shrug, and a third loss for me. Dude totally spams the same move.

"Yeah, the WIN move!"

Jerk.

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27 June 2009

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(Going to go ahead and toss the next couple of entries up while I'm checking e-mail. Hopefully should know soon enough if this is working. --6/28/09)

More proof e-mail works. More proof the Internet is a strange place, even post-5/6.

"To Whom it May Concern:

I am Matt D. Leethen, owner and founder of SubNet Ltd., a privately-owned ISP and website hosting service. Since May 6, we have turned to focusing on providing hosting for sites and developers whose hosts and/or servers were damaged in the attacks.

Subnet believes that one of the most vital services the Internet can provide in today's world is the means to remind us of that which was lost, including -- but by no means limited to -- accurate first-hand reporting of life in today's America. Therefore, we at Subnet make a special effort to provide help and support to sites falling into this category. Yours, obviously, was such a site.

We have noticed that your online account of life after the attacks has recently gone down. Perhaps you've noticed a similar problem amongst similar sites. We believe we know the cause of these issues, and SubNet can help you to get live once again.

Most importantly, due to the nature of your site and the purpose of SubNet, we wish to offer this support for free. Not free as in 'free trial' or 'free information,' but free as in 'service for the public good.'

I sincerely hope, personally, that you will consider this offer. I believe this will be of great interest and benefit to you. Should you be interested and/or have any questions, please respond using the e-mail address given below.

We look forward to hearing from you soon.

--M. Leethen,
CEO SubNet Ltd.
(e-mail address removed)"

This is...good news? A bit convenient? Odd?

All of the above?

But hey, if you're reading this and it's the Future then I guess I took them up on their offer and everything panned out legitimately?


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26 June 2009

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So for whatever reason, my blog's been down. I'm e-mailing this post in on the off-chance it's still showing somewhere. Got no clue myself if it'll show or not. Hoping the site'll get back up soon and I can continue writing. It's become a bit of a routine; nice way to wind down after dealing with the absurdities waiting outside my apartment door.

Not that the writing's stopped -- said absurdities continue to provide fertile grounds for entries. If and when I figure out what's wrong, there'll be stories to share.

Still receiving e-mail, at least. Got a reply from Andy, albeit a short one: "When are you free?"

Guess I'll be talking to him on Sunday.

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24 June 2009

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Dammit. If you're reading this then at least e-mail updating still works. Can't access the blog online any more.

The hell's going on here...?

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23 June 2009

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Bananas!

The grocery store had bananas today! Crazy expensive though. $2.50/lb. Didn't keep me from picking up a couple of bunches, earning a slight raised eyebrow from the checkout operator girl. The guys are already faded beyond green into a solid yellow, but I figure I'll be able to down then before the browns dominate.

Payday's coming up, and after the success of our +'s ads, we all should be doing pretty well for a good while, provided there are no crazy market dives.

Anything's still possible, but some of the drama's gone. Things have definitely stabilized for me personally. Hard to tell if it's the same for the general populace though. Local news remains distant and impersonal, though the recent internet (semi)rescucitation has led to a bit more variety. The streets are still filled with idlers, but there's been a definite reduction in blatantly homeless people on the streets. A result of the curfew, I can only assume.

Been poking around the edges of the 'Net some more. Interesting results. Like I said, visiting the international pages of US-based news sites -- CNN, USAToday, etc. -- leads to sites that still exist but have fallen into disrepair. You know, like an abandoned Geocities page (remember those?). Broken links. Missing images. No updates since pre-6/5.

Overseas news sites can't even be accessed. BBC, for example. 404 error.

Suspect a lot of you have already noticed for yourself, but still. Tried being a little more sneaky? Looking up, say, overseas blogs? Can't find anything. Social networking sites have limited functionality, if any...not that the lack of myspace pimped-out pages is any great loss. Blogs (like this, obviously) are still viewable but they seem to be slowly dwindling. Like, I had a few I followed, but now only one or two are still updating. Some stop providing new entries, some 404.

I'm doing this mostly for myself, sure, but...I dunno. Hate to see all this go to waste. Plus...I'm still hoping to hear from others across the nation, get some feel for how things are nationally from individuals, not from news agencies. I mean, it's most likely nothing, just people having personal issues they have to deal with interfering with passtimes. Plenty of issues to go around nowadays. Just...hm.

Really need to talk to Andy about all this.

Think I'll e-mail him now actually.

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22 June 2009

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One oft-overlooked benefit that came about as a result of this whole mess is the death of spam.

Look, you take the small victories where you can.

Only, it seems those days are over. I present to you, The First Spam of The Post-5/6 Era!

Some things never change. Except the world, apparently.

THE WORLD HAS CHANGED

AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA JUST HOW MUCH

Forget Sept. 11. Forget JFK. Area 51. All the conspiracy theories you THOUGHT you knew.

If they were real, it no longer matters. Because of 5/6, the past has been ELIMINATED.

You are not being WATCHED. You are not being STUDIED. You are not being READ.

ALL are being done.

PAY ATTENTION. Next month will be a COUNTERSTRIKE. Their own TOOLS can be their UNDOING.

We will PATCH TOGETHER that which they have SEVERED.

DON'T BELIEVE THE WORST. THINGS HAVE GONE BEYOND EVEN THAT.

:-Net


Really? Really??

Wonder if the Prince of Nigeria still needs some help.

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21 June 2009

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So if you had told me that you could get my Internet access back, I'd have been thrilled, would have hugged you, may have even promised you my firstborn. Secondborn too if I were feeling generous.

But now, after spending literally all day poking and prodding at the edges of cyberspace, instead of utterly delighted I'm more confused than anything.

Instead of the ship-lost-in-the-Pacific vastness that you usually get wading through millions of pages of Google search returns, there's a visible horizon. Trying to surf off that edge doesn't lead to infinite blackness, or to a place where Here There Be Monsters, but just a wall. An edge.

Is it just me? I mean, safe to assume that a lot of damage is still yet to be repaired. And maybe it's a regional thing, maybe I'm going through the wrong hubs to get the wrong info. I don't know. As I've said before, not an IT guy.

The things you'd go after first, they're the ones that are hardest to come across too. No, not porn. That's still there aplenty (not that, ah, I would know...ahem). But national and international news is sparse at best. Mostly just rehashes of what the President has said or done. Internationally there's next to nothing.

Lots of speculation, little hard fact. Guess I shouldn't be surprised, really.

Still hunting to see what is and isn't available, but there's definitely significantly more available for perusal.

Which is fortunate, because with the curfew I'll be around my computer a lot earlier a lot more often.

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20 June 2009

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Is it just me, or do a whole bunch of websites that were down seem to be back up?

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19 June 2009

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Chris threw out the idea today that we should all have a celebratory "ring in the curfew" party. Elle and I agreed with lukewarm enthusiasm it wasn't a bad idea (hardly something worth celebrating, but people and drink do occasionally make Things better). Cam nonchalantly pointed out that many places, including The After, would be closing at 11 so that the workers would be able to get home before curfew.

"No problem!" boomed Chris. "Plenty of time for a few after-work drinks, right?"

Guy had a point.

Wish I could say it was a good time, but the atmosphere was a bit subdued. The owner of The After was noticeably irked, flinging drinks around at the bar with little regard for fullness or accuracy. This rubbed off onto his staff, which threatened to rub off onto us.

"He's likely to lose a lot of business because of the curfew," Cam explained, nodding sympathetically to the owner.

Elle's eyes widened in understanding as she sat up straighter, brushing a strand of candy-apple-red hair from her forehead. "Not much nightlife for bars to support now, I guess...."

Chris frowned into his beer, flakes of foam hiding in his goatee. I just shrugged, never having been one for barhopping in general.

Cam congratulated us, noting that our curfew ads were airing nationally together with one or two other groups' work. he said his higher-ups were pleased with the effort, detail, and common-interest approach our projects showed. We toasted to that, but the cheer lasted about as long as the round did.

At about 10, the mood in the place had deteoriorated to the point where we were all ready to give in to the loss of our nighttime freedoms and just move on with it. Chris doggedly ordered one last round for good measure, the bar's owner giving a half-smile in appreciation. Afterwards, stepped outside, said our goodbyes and stumbled, to varying degrees, our separate ways.

And so I find myself here, killing time, doing a New Year's Eve-esque countdown. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....

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18 June 2009

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Maybe you've heard the saying before, 'Idle hands are the devil's plaything.' Or something like that. Grew up down south, buckle of the Bible Belt, where if you listen to the wrong (right?) people, there were few things that WEREN'T the devil's plaything. This one stuck in memory though, because it actually makes sense.

Maybe you grew up with one of those hippie uncles, the one your parents would always talk about in hushed tones when they thought you weren't around, though really they wanted you to only think you weren't supposed to hear because they actually wanted you to learn that living THAT way was unacceptable.

That was a mouthful. Keyboardful. Whatever.

Anyway, maybe you had an uncle like that. Maybe he hit the eggnog pretty solidly one Thanksgiving and starting rambling about how he'd managed to avoid being pinned down and controlled by The Man unlike all the other sheeple in his family. Maybe you cried yourself to sleep after learning your parents could have screamfights with their brother just like you and your brothers and sisters did.

Maybe that was just me. But I digress. Point is, maybe there's a bit to what he had to say. And maybe he was also proof that the old adage we started with had some truth to it as well.

People with jobs, especially in a time of crisis, are too busy doing said jobs, too busy providing for themselves and/or their loved ones to stir up much trouble. Now, should these selfsame people be lacking in employment, well then.

Hadn't been paying much attention before, too focused on my own personal issues and problems. But it's getting to the point where it's starting to seep through my self-absorbed fog. People milling about the streets, the apartment complexes, shuffling, varying levels of furtiveness. The increase in both number and intensity of the glances at my wallet and my person when I'm able to buy my choice of the week's groceries.

Maybe it's just in my head. I mean, I mention it tonight because they mentioned it tonight on the news. Unemployment still sky-high, desperation reaching similar levels. Unemployment centers overwhelmed. Government programs unable to keep up. Situation unlikely to improve. People unable to make payments.

So many "un-"s.

As we get more and more removed from the attacks themselves and things enter a new sort of consistency, the sense of community and fear of a greater evil both dissipate. In its stead comes a more personal fear, the individual's self-preserving fear. At least, that's what I assume. Fortunately, this is merely an academic study for me. I'm one of the lucky ones.

Relatively speaking.

Still, it's nearing the point where I have to shoulder my way through the downtown streets, watch my step for loungers on the sidewalk, and feel a growing need to keep assuring myself my wallet's still in my pocket.

In potentially related news, curfew starts tomorrow. Don't forget, yeah?

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17 June 2009

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Picking up where I left off: the downside of sleep-deprivation-induced loopiness. Namely, seeing boogeymen in all the dark corners. Ghosts in your peripheral vision. Figuratively speaking, however. It's a bit different now that I've gotten some rest, but these phantasmic thoughts won't stop spooking me occasionally.

So we know now first-hand the deportations are real. And we know they're happening now. What else is kicking in now? Yeah. So why do I think the two are related?

Been keeping up with the local news?

Anybody else think there's been surprisingly little reaction to the deportations? And yet there was a report today about backlash "apparently over the enforced curfew," as the reporter put it. The voice-over, non-live-on-the-scene reporter. There's no other reason to assume they're protesting curfews over high gas prices, overcrowded public transportation, or horrible late-night TV lineups.

I'm just wondering if people are starting to react now that they're on slightly more stable footing, feeling a bit more confident and all. And that the curfew is, in part, a check to keep things in control should news over the deportations explode the way I'd expect it to.

I dunno. If it's even true, it may not even be a bad thing when you think about it like that.

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16 June 2009

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The similarities between coffee and oil are non-insignificant. Both are black liquids that, with varying amounts of refinery, become fuels. Both are largely imported, and the loss of either would lead to social instability and dramatic downturns in production and efficiency.

Conspiracy theorists need to look closer into this relationship. Notice how despite these obvious correlations, in times of crisis gas prices skyrocket while coffee remains generally steady? They know. They know that as long as we have the coffee to get us through the inconveniences of public transportation or pump-gouging, we will persevere.

Look I've been awake forever just bear with me here.

Sleep deprivation is a tool I hadn't explored before in my work and maybe it is something I should look into more. Some people call it loopy, I prefer to say I develop free-associative cognizance. But much like the Schwartz, it has an upside and a downside. For better or worse I get both.

Let's focus on the upside. We wrapped up the curfew project today. Got the now-trademark thumbs-up from Cam. Took a two-pronged approach to the situation. See, here's what I think. I think people generally fall into one of two categories. One where they have a family they care for, and one where they don't have a family they care for (be it really annoying in-laws, or lack of other live-in family members).

Prove me wrong. You can't. I win.

So for the family people, it's easy to push the whole "protect the homestead" ideal. "In these troubled times," background images of wanton destruction, "you may feel lost and helpless. Powerless against tomorrow. But you can help." Background images of random generic families of all colors and numbers, living in vast mansions to tiny apartments. "Help us protect your house. Your family. Your source of comfort and security." Background image of American flag. "Help us Hold Down the Fort."

Credits: Writing, me. Voice, Chris. Images photographed by Elle. Edited by Cam. It's the Hold Down the Fort campaign. Named it myself.

Look, told you I was tired dammit.

Now for those with whom the previous message wouldn't find resonance. They're the hard sell. The night owls, the free folk. At first, wanted to be more direct. Couldn't come up with anything and was getting frustrated. Decided we should just tell them 'look this is the way things are so just bite the proverbial bullet so that you don't end up biting a real one.'

Cam didn't go for that script. (It should be noted Chris seemed a little disappointed he wouldn't get to voice it.)

It wouldn't work, Cam reminded me, simply because it'd build resentment and that's what we're trying to avoid at all costs here. But then I was like, wait, let's change the tone then. Less belligerence, but still the same message. I mean, it's not like we can reason with a lot of these people. If they don't want to like it there's nothing we can say to change that. But if we convince them it's in their best interests...state the situation as-is, and explain the repercussions we'd like to avoid. Namely, the bullet-biting. He shrugged, his way of saying 'put it together and we'll take a look.'

"Nobody wants to be home on a Saturday night. Nobody wants to change their lifestyle due to the cowardly actions of others. But we need your help putting an end to the threat. Clear the streets before midnight. Help us rest assured the targets in our sights...are the right ones."

Cam nodded, and now Elle and Chris move on to the audio/visual aspects of it.

Now wait, you say. Those sound like TV or radio ads. What about the text ads? We're using those to focus on the details of the program. The punishments and whatnot, the stuff that'd take away a bit of the goodwill we're trying to build with the commercials. Cam put those together while we worked on the above spots.

So that's the upside of the (sleep)deprivation. The downside we'll discuss tomorrow, barring any intervening shenanigans.

Crashing starts...now.

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15 June 2009

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So, don't know why yet, but they're trying to hurry us up with the curfew materials. A bit of urgency that seems beyond the usual government (lack of?) efficiency.

Working way too many hours to come up with something good with everybody. All a bit stressed. Only thing I have is the facts: Goes into effect Friday at midnight (Saturday if you wanna be technical). Mandatory punishments: first offense is one month house arrest with surveillance. Second offense is six months. Third is a year's jail time. All minimums too.

This isn't gonna be an easy sell. Back to work tomorrow, far too early. So damn tired.

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14 June 2009

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Still here? Yeah hey so am I. Awesome.

Thought police didn't raid my apartment I guess.

Knew I was just being a dummy.

Tomorrow, work on finishing up the curfew ads.

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13 June 2009

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today's stats

wake-up: 2 pm (10 hours non-continuous sleep)

breakfast: dry off-brand cheerios (honey-nut)

set daily goal: do not die (thusfar successful, relatively)

Kinda hesitant to go out today. I think I'm afraid of running into John and Linda. Which is silly and dumb. But I've learned my gut usually knows what it's talking about. My instincts may be ridiculous, anti-social, and stupid, but they usually have a somewhat good reason for it.

Somewhat.

So, thusfar I've done what I usually do when something's troubling me but I can't think of a damn reason why. I try to find that reason while exploring various resting positions on the air mattress.

Had a pretty sweet double-bent-knee opposite-spread with waist half-twist, backside going on when the first of the pieces started falling into place. (Yes, I visualize my mental processes as tetris pieces.) Okay, the world has gone crazy. By now, I'm about as cool with that as I'm gonna be. But even with all the craziness, it has thusfar had a logical impact on my life.

interim activity: thumb through the PDGA magazine backwards. Wonder if any of the mail-order-disc stores advertized are still operating.

late lunch: beef jerky (far more acceptable as a main course ever since the attacks. Is meat, is nigh-nonperishable, is ubiquitous to convenience stores.)

Was perfecting my left-facing deadman with reverse-akimbo arms when the next lines came together. So there's craziness. Big deal. But until last week, the craziness wasn't controlling my life. Wasn't affecting me directly. The events in my individual existence were natural outcomes to the equations set up by the world. But lately the world's been feeding me 2 + 2 and I'm coming up with 5.

To listen to Mr. Welsh is to believe my + and I have become overnight sensations in DC. Hints that President Lee himself chose our spot to run the night of his address. On our first project together? Really?

Okay well maybe we did a good job. I do feel like we did a good job. I love the copy. So even that could have been assimilated into the natural flow of Things.

Something still missing though. Like when you get one of those funky z-blocks and no place to drop it. Always leaves that awkward little gap.

might have happened now: dozed off for half an hour? Maybe?

dinner: cheapo frozen pizza. Like, the (formerly) $1/box one, not the $1.30/box one. Always preferred the cheaper ones, crust got crisper than those the next step up.

dessert: a few marshmallows. God I love marshmallows. Fluffy sweet perfection.

By this time was reduced to fine-tuning the right-facing sideways fetal. Been a while since I've put so much effort into professional positioning.

Okay, things got a little weird when I saw the fruits of my labor on national TV. But even that had fallout that was even weirder. The whole John thing. I'm not CLOSE close to them, but close enough to be more than a little shaken the night they came for him. But then, to be told that because he wanted me to be happy and productive, Mr. Welsh had single-handedly reinstated John's citizenship and saved him from a hazily-defined deportation?

(Now we're getting somewhere now there's a nice little trough on the side and a l-block coming up next I think I've got this...)

For me, Mr. Welsh had sliced through who knows how much red tape in a time when the red tape is toughening to near-steel strength. For me...or for what I've done?

For what I've done, and have the potential to do later?

Am I in debt to this guy now?

BAM TETRIS WHOLE SCREEN CLEAR LEVEL UP FANFARE OF SUCCESS

Why does that thought feel so ominous? That's it though; that's what's bothering me. I feel like I'm in some insane debt to my boss. But he's shown no sign of this being an issue...given me no reason to feel like I should worry about being in his debt. So he did me a favor, right? People do that sometimes.

But of this magnitude?

I don't know. But some of the things he's said, the ease with which he accomplishes things, the complete confidence in a time of national uber-uncertainty...it just feels WEIRD man.

Okay so maybe it is time I started fitting myself for a tinfoil hat. But I got a safeguard. I got this figured out. If I were REALLY paranoid, if I REALLY believed things were far deeper than the little divot they usually are, then why the hell would I post this online? Especially considering my position?

No, this is my litmus. Everything's fine.

official end of forced consciousness: thinking maybe around 3 am, depends really

daily goal status: successful (pending...)

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12 June 2009

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So I realized something today. These deportations. Where, exactly, do those unlucky enough to not have randomly important friends end up? I mean, are they just kinda being kicked out, shown the door, and told to have a good life, don't come back? Who would take them? And how many ended up being deported?

And why aren't we hearing more about this? I mean, it seems a pretty harsh way to deal with POTENTIALLY illegal immigrants. But then...I guess it's meant to weed out terrorist elements?

Drastic times, drastic measures?

And God I don't know how I feel about what happened. I mean, I'm glad. I'm glad that I could help John. But...what's going on, when the whim of a sleep-deprived copywriter dictates the future of some random guy?

Maybe some things just shouldn't be questioned too much?

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